changes became constant

i can stay constant....
but i get bored of things far too easily.

maybe there are certain situations that i can stay constant in and there are that i can't.
i can't define the "situations".

whatever the situations are, i still get bored of constant.
"so what makes me think i can handle constant situations, silly?"
but someday things have to change,
i can't always get bored of constant -- i must not.

seriously my uncertainties in life are pretty much dragging my life down to hell.
not that i'm not certain bout what i want in life, i know very well what i want.
it's my uncertainty in whether to stay constant or not that kills,
i stay constant, i get bored and upset.
i keep on moving, i left no memories behind.
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truth is -- i'm afraid of the constants.
i keep moving to avoid everything.
everything that i'm afraid of.

but now i'm tired of moving in such vigorous speed,
that whilst losing my fear i lose myself too.
i want to slow down, stay constant for a bit and gain back me.
it shouldn't be too hard, i like slow pace
as slow as the waves get back into the sand, the sea.

i can stay in for weeks, reading, not changing a thing but enlightenment.
by not changing a thing i will still be me
......just the enlightened version.