my past

favourite thing to do

smoke and die young

Lou....

you've been away from me for far too long. i miss you! i want you back!
yes i lost my lou due to my own stupidity to trust that jackass that stole her.
a part of my life went away with her. really.
and the police couldn't give a fuck.
fuck you jackass who stole my lou away from me. you cheapo.
no other iPod can take over you but if i can never find you i have to get a new one.
i hope who did this to you will rot in hell or die in his sleep.

life is just not complete anymore.

waiting in & out

i miss taking street shots.
what i did while i was in the bus waiting to reach my destination,
and waiting for the next bus to go home.
i like the second pic most, i don't know why but i feel something.
do you?

you can always click on the photos for larger view

false alarm

it feels so horrible to know that you're wrong,
something you thought you were right about,
especially after being right for so many times.
make sense, no?
for the first time, i was wrong.
my intuition lied to me.

i saw it coming my way,
it was around the corner,
but i had to blink,
and it turned it's back on me,
it was a false alarm.

hopes are violent. i never want to have them again.

i don't want to fall in love nor be interested again.
i want to be numb. i don't want to feel anything.

changes became constant

i can stay constant....
but i get bored of things far too easily.

maybe there are certain situations that i can stay constant in and there are that i can't.
i can't define the "situations".

whatever the situations are, i still get bored of constant.
"so what makes me think i can handle constant situations, silly?"
but someday things have to change,
i can't always get bored of constant -- i must not.

seriously my uncertainties in life are pretty much dragging my life down to hell.
not that i'm not certain bout what i want in life, i know very well what i want.
it's my uncertainty in whether to stay constant or not that kills,
i stay constant, i get bored and upset.
i keep on moving, i left no memories behind.
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truth is -- i'm afraid of the constants.
i keep moving to avoid everything.
everything that i'm afraid of.

but now i'm tired of moving in such vigorous speed,
that whilst losing my fear i lose myself too.
i want to slow down, stay constant for a bit and gain back me.
it shouldn't be too hard, i like slow pace
as slow as the waves get back into the sand, the sea.

i can stay in for weeks, reading, not changing a thing but enlightenment.
by not changing a thing i will still be me
......just the enlightened version.

sombre nights....

that kept me sane and human today.

a new year

... with same old shit.

P. R. E. T. E. N. D. E. R. S

night test

taken outside of my uncle's house. i was bored to death but my theodore saved me. i took him out and continue my journey to explore how to take pics of lights with the clean stirpes. at first i was so frustrated that i can't get it right, then i sat down think calmly and i started playing with my own eye (as in squinting it) then bam the idea came to my head. how stupid can i be huh. lol so yea this was the first test i did and i was so happy that i've out the "secret" to capturing lights with clean stripes. nothing special but i love it. weee.....

p.s i realised i could spend all night in a field with nobody but theo...

this is how it is suppose to be

a self portrait i've been dying to shot and finally my butt is off the seat and i'm doing a series!
i LOVE this. what do you think?

valentine's night series

click for larger view and it looks clearer and better too.

this is what i did last night, valentine's night. yea no date no nothing but it's worthy for this series. when the pics first came out i thought they didn't look so nice but seeing it on t but it think it's good enough in such short time. of course a lot of photographers cahe pc screen and some touching up i think it's ok. it's not so amazing and a lot of photographers can do better than this in shorter time but i did my very best for this. still trying very hard to improve. two sticks of cigarettes in less than 30mins. i can say i'm proud of myself, and this is my first ever complete series.

bangkok in b&w

i didn't take so much b&w pics on the first day as it's too colourful to miss out the colours in chinatown. but some pics looks better and feel better in b&w. so just enjoy.

bangkok here i come!

at the suan lum night bazaar

the two kiddos living in where we had our breakfast

back alley in chinatown

ooh it tells you the taste of the food (well the chicken is real sweet)

the skytrain... or i think it is called like that

i wish i could one day travel with someone fun

ooh ooh ooh its jude law in the dunhil huge poster

celebrating christmas in town

urban side of bangkok

typical thai market

getting ready to pint the town red.... lol just preparing for dinner in chinatown

suvarnabhumi airport is HUGE

no bangkok series would be complete without at least a pic of monks

i'm absolutely sad to leave but i WILL be back. if i could afford, i'll come back every year. it definitely worth the visit and the 5days there aren't enough. lots more places to cover. bye bangkok, but wait for me.

play time

being playful on the first day back home and in comfort. first time in my life for leaving the house and then feeling very VERY homesick. i shocked myself. and i love that shirt, all because of the lips. i still am interested in slogan tees and weird ones. i bought one with a camera (model = olympus), pretty much the reason why i bought it (all clothes are from bangkok). i know... still owing photos from bangkok, i'm working and editing my a**off already.be patient and keep checking back. and... HAPPY NEW YEAR, have a wonderful 2008!

missing you already

goodbye

your goodbye hurts this much. you won't see nor feel it because it isn't you who is this madly in love.

my birthday

sorry for the late updates. my pc was reformatted and every photos were lost. these photos were from my birthday (27th nov). i got a wonderful surprise from my friends! they bought me a cake as a surprise. i LOVE them to bits! we were in tuition and exams season so there's no expectations. i have no cake last year for my birthday so this year is good. just one thing missing... but it doesn't matter i guess since that someone doesn't really fancy me much anymore.

last day of...

the last day of school (30th nov). the last day of exam. the last day to wear the cyan coloured uniform. the last day of craziness in school. i'm going to miss those people, my friends, time we spent in school all these years, the crazy times, the moment of sadness, the feeling of nervous before any examinations, the fun of breaking school rules and messing around and getting into trouble with the dogs(prefects) and discipline teacher. and even those days when i was asked to sit outside of the class for changing my place. lol. i wonder how would life be without school since i've been in school all my life for 13years (including kinddy). would it be better? would it be worse? i'll miss all those times in school but i wouldn't want to go through those years again. i'm a free person now. i have too much time in my hand that i started thinking a lot. something i shouldn't be thinking since months ago.